Nature Walk

First flowers of the year!

This evening I decided to take advantage of the freakishly warm weather we've been enjoying of late, and got out for a walk.  I love this time of year, when the world is beginning to wake after the slumber of winter.  I could feel it in everything, in the wind playing in my hair, the cloud tops glowing like giant South Sea pearls in the last light of the sun.  The birds are active and singing their approval of the change that's coming.  There were more wild ducks than I've ever seen congregating in the creek that runs through the middle of the park in my neighborhood, resting on their way to somewhere else.

 Mind you, I live in a fairly urban locale, only two miles or so from downtown Oklahoma City, and you would think that nature would not be that close at hand. It is if you look for it and pay attention.  The big willow in the park is showing signs of the imminent spring, the long strands of her hair turning the bright yellow that proceeds spring green.  Our maple tree is blooming, and the brave daffodils are up, having thrown all caution to the wind in defiance of winter.

Spring is definitely here- yes, it will most likely freeze again, and the weather here isn't exactly reliable this time, or any time of the year, for that matter.  The park will change daily as the trees wake up, the rains will come and the earth will explode with life.  You have to pay close attention, or you'll miss it.  Kind of like life- pay attention, stay in the moment, because it is short.  I don't want to miss a thing.

Deep in the Heart

This week, my travels find me in the beautiful Hill Country of central Texas, at a lovely spot near Balcones Canyonlands National Wildlife Preserve.  It is peaceful here, as I write I am listening to the night songs of crickets, frogs and the patter of water as it moves down its hillside course to the river below.  The sky is big, dark, and full of stars.

I am here to study an ancient form of yogic meditation, a path that takes us on a journey through the layers of our body/ mind by way of our senses, breath, feelings, emotions and thoughts, and  into the place of deep, resonating joy. What we find at the end of this journey is literally the ground of our being- the place where our concept of our individual self, the ego, the "I"ness of who we think we are merges like a drop of water into the ocean of pure Awareness.  Ultimately, we want to be in that state all the time, to see our connection to everyone and everything, to live in this state of pure awareness in which everything is unfolding.

Yesterday I did my yoga practice out on the deck overlooking the river that flows through the property of the retreat center.  At the end of my practice, as I lay on my back, I gazed up into the cloudless sky- pure, stainless, wide open awareness.  As I sat up to meditate, I became transfixed by a willow tree on the other side of the river.  Its branches were moved gently by the wind, like an unseen hand softly brushing hair away from a cheek.  Some of the branches dipped into the water and played in the current, moving with it but not swept away by it.  I watched the gentle movements of wind and water dancing with the willow and saw the changing and changeless.  The wind and water moving through the tree but not changing it, like our perceptions move through our own sky of pure, unchanging awareness.  This was a perfect example unfolding right in front of my eyes,  that it was possible to be in that state of awareness even when I wasn't actively meditating.  Pure awareness is present in us all the time- it is the unchanging ground of being that was present before we were born and will exist after our body dies.  We just get distracted by all the peripheral information from our senses, thoughts, feelings and emotions, and believe that to be the only reality we can experience.  When we remember that we are more than just those things, we can connect to the that place of eternal, pure awareness, wide open like the big Texas sky.

Fullness

Boston, September 2010

Here I am today in a city that I love, a city that is vibrantly alive and diverse in so many ways.  Happy in my remembrance of the geography of the place, I feel completely at ease in my ability to successfully navigate these streets again. I still love the same energy that captivated me over 30 years ago- it feels every bit as fresh and stimulating now as it did then.

 I am in the presence of so many friends, feeling genuine joy with the sight of each of them, fully enjoying practicing yoga together.  I love reconnecting the threads of our hearts.  I sit at the feet of my teacher, a man who refuses to be anyones Guru.  He is a humble person who is supremely confident in his knowledge, and is passionate about sharing it with us.  It was a long day filling the pages of my notebook, frustrated that I can't write fast enough to capture everything that he is teaching.  I soften and remember that I don't have to get it all, and in that opening, I receive one piece of information that shifts me in a powerful way.  Open to Grace, the light of Spirit that reveals our true nature- it's one thing to hear it, but something completely different when you actually embody it.  In that opening, there is a revelation of truth, a flash of insight that changes the way I see things.

The lie we believe about ourselves is that we are not worthy, or good enough, or are lacking in some way.  Grace reveals the truth- that we are already full, perfect and whole just as we are.  Being here, in this city, with these friends, with our teacher is a gift, a reminder that the feeling of wholeness and reunion is always just a breath away.  All I have to do is soften, open to the light of awareness and receive. This life, this path, this day is a blessing.  I am full.

Anusara Teachers Intensive

Happiness, on a plate

One of my yoga teachers once gave me some excellent advice about life.  He said, "Taste everything".  


And so, I do.

Fried crickets in Thailand- tastes like potato chips!

I skipped the baby frogs...

Oh no I didn't!

Delicious and Piquant.  Those are their names, really!

Fried rice and shrimp- I made this at Thai cooking school!

And in Ireland.....

Oh yes I did!

A sigh of happiness in Banff.  

Caught in the act- 
apple crisp with cream in Ireland.

And in Canada....

     Marinated wild mushrooms 
           over grilled sour dough, Banff.                                                      

Smoked salmon and the ubiquitous pint, Ireland.

The End.  Isn't life delicious?                                              

Obstacles

We all have them.  They pop up whenever you least expect them.  The thing we forget about obstacles, is that more often than not, the obstacle IS the path, the way towards knowing ourselves on a deeper level.  Recently, a friend expressed to me her frustration over her perceived financial limitations.  I responded to her with the consideration to not get too attached, to remember that it is a temporary situation.  I believe that the more we hold onto negative or self limiting thoughts, the more that energy manifests itself in our lives.  When we foster the idea that we are limited financially, we block the flow of abundance into our life.  We are actually creating our own obstacles, and they show up in all aspects of our lives.  The way gets blocked.


Our first inclination is to push and resist against the obstacle, to move it or even remove it from blocking our path.  To quote one of my favorite science fiction collective entities, the Borg from Star Trek; "Resistance is Futile".  The more you resist, the more you struggle, sweat, bleed and cry, the more suffering you create for yourself.  Now, to quote one of my favorite real life personages, Buddha; "Suffering is Optional".  Put in terms now of dealing with said obstacle, we then have to cultivate some creativity in our approach, to walk around what is blocking at us and look at it from every angle.  Touch it, feel it, taste it, know every aspect of the thing in the way, so that you can understand that it's very existence in our lives serves a purpose.  Obstacles show up in our lives to teach us something.

Sometimes we have to dig underneath, or flow around like water, crawl over the top or just dynamite the damn thing.  Sometimes we have to walk away and find another route.  Whatever way our creativity finds to deal with the obstacle, we have learned something more about ourselves.  I believe there is always a way, a path for us, even if there are obstacles.  Sometimes we just have to ask for help and open to the flow of abundance in the Universe.  It is everywhere.


Om Gan Ganapataye Namaha

Sign of the Times

The rules of relationship have changed:
 Authorized Personnel Only.

Boundaries are a good thing, like a big chain link fence around an electrical station.  Life keeps teaching me some great lessons, and proves to me again and again that I have amazing friends who are always there for me.  Life also has taught me that I am not so good at building fences, and I get a lot of gate crashers.  I have a "Circle of Trust" that I have tried to keep semi permeable- I invite people in, and assume that I can trust them.  Sometimes my trust in people gets broken, whether intentionally or accidentally, and it is a shock- my reaction at times is much worse-there is hazardous voltage inside.   The learning is that boundaries are a good thing.  Trust is something that has to be earned, that when broken, is difficult to repair.  The gate is now closed, and anyone wanting to get in will have to go through security.

I think I'll have this sign made into a T-shirt.

Re-entry

     How do you hold on to a peak experience after the moment has passed?  An experience where you have participated in something that is greater than yourself, something that changes you on a cellular level?  As tourists, we buy postcards and souvenirs to remind us of our experience, we take snapshots to show our family and friends, but unless the experience is shared, it is difficult for someone who was not there to have a sense, or the ability to taste your experience.  Re-entry back into everyday life is challenging after a vacation, and even more so after a spiritual retreat.  Our body's energy channels, the mind, senses and heart have been blasted open- we are more sensitive and receptive to all forms outside stimulus- TV, phones, loudspeakers, computers.  The world can be a very jarring place- the airport that was once an exciting portal into the anticipated adventure becomes a harsh and overwhelming environment.  For me, the flight home is the most difficult part, the loud voices, crying babies, announcements from the flight deck, the bagpipe music coming from the row in front of me (I’m not joking).  The irate traveler swearing at another person in front of his children (yeah, same guy I mentioned in the last post), the inconsiderate jostling for position before the airplane doors are even open, the hit of light and sound and bustling activity that disorients you upon entry into the terminal.  How do we maintain the peace that we found for ourselves while on retreat?

      Cultivate the intention to view everything as perfect exactly the way it is.  The cacophony of the airport provides contrast for the quiet peace of mind that was granted to us during our time away.  We must remember that the retreat, the vacation is simply a moment, a pause that we take to step out of the flow of our daily lives, and is not the reality of our everyday life.  Without contrast, we would miss the experience. If we lived in that alternate vacationland bliss all the time, without contrast it would lack meaning.  Try to step back into the peace you found while you were away- remember how it felt in your body.  There is a super intelligence there that you can tap into at anytime, to remember that place of ease and equipoise, that flash of awareness, the touch of beauty on your senses.  It is always available for us when we open to the remembrance of the feeling.  Choosing what you focus your awareness on while you are traveling makes it possible to carry the experience back into your daily life- the grandfather cuddling his granddaughter, the long kiss and poignant parting of young lovers, the kind and selfless act of a complete stranger. 

Beauty and spiritual inspiration come in many forms, and are present for us all the time- we don’t have to go on retreat to find them, we just have to see the world with new eyes.